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Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Review: The Pirate Birde by Sandra Hill

THE PIRATE BRIDE


Viking I Series #11


by Sandra Hill


Publisher: Avon (Nov 2013)
Genre: Historical Romance, Adult
Format: eBook (384 pages)
Source: Free book from publisher (Edelweiss) for honest review.
Find It: Goodreads | Amazon Print | Amazon Kindle | Barnes & Noble
Rating: ☆☆☆ (1 star)
Summary
A Viking to bed, not to wed!

Medana Elsadottir, known as the Sea Scourge, never planned to become a pirate, but there’s no denying her talent. Her female-only tribe has an island hideaway, food aplenty, goods to trade…everything except the means to breed. That’s where the strapping Norsemen tied up in her ship’s hold comes in handy. Eight godly specimen—and Thork Tykirrson is the most virile of them all. Once their, eh, work is done, they’ll be free to leave. Medana had naught to due with this gods-awful plan, but she wouldn’t mind reaping the benefits.

Wed or bed…this Viking has plans of his own.

Renowned as the wildest Viking of his time, Thork was returning home to regain his father’s favor. Mayhap even (shudder) marry. His brazen—and very beautiful—kidnapper has likely done him a favor in preventing such an irksome fate. That doesn’t mean he’ll let her off easy. No one takes anything from a Viking that he’s not willing to give…not even a violet-eyed vixen who sets off the wildest fantasies.
At A Glance
If women in general were as stupid as the women in this book, we would all be dead by now.

The Good
The ending was actually okay. That is all.

The Bad
The Pirate Bride is almost 400 pages of women being stupid, making stupid decisions, and having stupid sex. Medana and her group of 'fearsome' women 'warriors' live on a secluded island to get themselves away from under the thumb of man. Then they kidnap seven men and keep them on the island to have sex with and so they can get pregnant. Fast-forward some. Medana and her 200 or so fellow women who supposedly know how to fight let the seven men take over the island. The Pirates, who think nothing of women and make it a point to talk badly about them any chance they get, kidnap Medana. Then Thork has sex with her because he knows she wants it. And she kind of does, because obviously she is a woman and is stupid, right? Yeah, it goes down hill from there. Enough said.

I should mention I skimmed a lot of the middle portion because I wanted to get the torture over with.

The Snuggly
Medana should be shot for her idiocy and Thork should be gutted for his disgusting attitude towards women. I don't care if he is a pirate, this is romance book, he can't be this disgusting and a love interest.

I skipped almost all the sex scenes because I hated both characters.

Final Thoughts
I could only give this book credit when it came to the ending because if I had enjoyed the book, then this ending would have been really satisfying. But I couldn't bring myself to give it more than one star. The rest was just plain horrible. I think my IQ went down just from reading this book. Okay, that was mean, but I really feel strongly about this one. Please don't read this book.
Quotes
I can't bring myself to share any of this drivel.


20 comments:

  1. Hahahaha! When I saw the cover of this book, I was like, "huh?" Don't get me wrong, I love a good HR, but most all of them (not circa 1985) have evolved past this kind of cover, LOL. And then your whole review was funny, but "I can't bring myself to share any of this drivel." had me cackling. I'm sorry it was awful, and I promise to NEVER read it ;)

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    1. I know, I know. I felt the same way but the blurb got me. Big mistake.

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  2. I first thought the book was from the 80's. lol
    The blurb sounds hilarious, too bad didn't live up to the hype.

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    1. Yup, that seems to be the consensus. lol.

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  3. Loved your review! We had this as a book club choice and it did not go over well with our group.

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  4. At a glance had my bursting out laughing. I find myself pissed at the women in books a lot, a woman doesn't have to be weak to be feminine. Wishing you better luck with your next read!

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    1. OMG, you can't imagine how pissed I was at these women. It was sickening.

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  5. OMG I both feel amused because of the review and sad because why the heck did you suffer through this?! LOL I've only read one book of hers, it's her Angel PNR, it was ok, sometimes funny.

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    1. I had to see how it ended. I had to know that this book wasn't horrible the whole time. I guess I like to suffer.

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  6. 1st thought: "Haha, what a cheesy cover"
    2nd thought after reading blurb: "Oh hell yes, I need to read this!"
    Final thought after reading your review: "Dammit!"

    I can't deal with stupid women. Thanks for taking a bullet on this one!

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  7. How are books like these still being published in 2013?! And it's the 11th book in the series?! WHAT! I can't believe you made it all the way through to the ending, kudos to you

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    1. I know, I know. I don't even know what to say. The whole situation was just bad.

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  8. LOL Your review really made me giggle, Jennifer. I admit to wanting to take a look if only to see how stupid this woman is. Don't worry, I won't waste me time...even if the ending was a good one. :) I'm sorry you wasted your time and I hope your current read is making up for it!

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    1. I guess bad books bring out the comedian in me. lol.

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  9. HAHAHA, glad that I have more sense than these ladies... well, most days ;)

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  10. ha ha! Steering clear of this one! I've got little time for stupid characters!

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, you and me both! I knew you would agree.

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